Jolene Granby
Jolene Granby's Story
What's your preferred name?
Mely out of drag is great, and Jolene Granby in drag!
What are your pronouns?
He/They out of drag, She/Her in drag
Share with us how you identify and how you came to that understanding of yourself.
I feel like my body and "hardware" are definitely a cisgender man (and I'm content with that), but the "software" running the show is nonbinary. At the end of the day, whatever it is that lives between my ears doesn't necessarily feel male or female, it just feels like existence. It's funny, my drag persona is DEFINITELY a cisgender female identity, and doesn't share in the non-binary title. She's a 45-year-old thrice-divorced woman.
Tell us about how your self-expression has helped you grow.
Drag has helped me to discover my style and voice. It's made me more comfortable shopping for non-masculine clothing. Women, you have it great when it comes to clothing choices. Men's clothes are so boring, except grey sweatpants. Now I wear what I like, and look the way that I feel is most "me". Sometimes I'm very peacock-like, and on other days, I'm more demure and want to be invisible. Drag has shown me that whatever you present yourself as to the world, own it, 100%. Even if it's a costume held together by hot glue (that's melting) and staples (that are coming undone), it's yours!
Where did you grow up? What was a formative experience you had in childhood that led you to where you are today?
I'm from northeastern Tennessee: the land of Dolly Parton, bluegrass, and the Appalachian mountains. It's a beautiful place, but there has always been some part of me that stared/longed at the horizon. Something mysterious just waiting on the other side. New place, people, ways of being. This evolved as I got older and realized it wasn't so much the physical horizon I was dreaming of (though I DID move to the West Coast when I was 27). Nowadays, the horizon feels like a challenge and a growing opportunity. I think "seeking the horizon" has helped me to be more fearless in the face of the unknown.
What is a life goal that you are working on or have achieved? How has working toward this goal helped you understand yourself as an individual?
The funny thing is, I've accomplished many of my goals (and didn't realize it until afterward). I wanted to live somewhere other than my hometown, check. Perform drag onstage just once, check. (MANY times over, and now I host shows?!) Get comfortable speaking in front of large audiences, check. (I still have the jitters but know I won't physically die). As I approach 40, I find myself asking, "What's next"? And that's the headspace I find myself in at the moment: what is my next big goal? How do I account for the current turmoil in the US when planning for the long term? But as I write this, I do remember a goal! It's a silly one, and nerdy, so buckle up! I want to live to at least April 5, 2063. In the Star Trek timeline, it's the day Earth is reborn. Aliens detect a human-made ship going faster than light, and decide to introduce themselves to us on April 5, 2063. These events lead to Earth becoming a utopia. So yeah, I'd like to live to see that date, and have a big party!
Who is someone who inspired you to be your true self? What was their influence on you?
Oh gosh, too many to name them all! But honorable mentions! -Every unapologetic southern woman I grew up around. They somehow knew exactly who they were (or seemed to) and were unmoved by male BS. Heck, every unapologetic woman! -Every friend I've vented to after a break-up. That absolute candor during that time is sharp, but gah, does it sculpt. -Dolly Parton (do I need to elaborate?) -RuPaul ("unless they're paying your bills, pay them *itches no mind") -Dogs. Just watching how they literally do not care about their looks and enjoy life with such gusto. It's inspiring!
What's something that you worry about?
Everything lol. Anxiety sucks, amirite?! Former evangelical here, so I still have that end-time fear. But I'm an adult and gay, so the fear has evolved into being hauled off to a concentration camp for being gay! And sadly, policies and messages coming out of the other Washington make this once outlandish fear seem more of a possibility. If people can be sold to Ecuadorian prisons, then how far away are we from this fear? Being gay in the US worries me. I could answer that I'm also scared for the future that the next generations will inherit if the current trajectory of climate change isn't altered. It is a significant issue, and one that will be very obvious to everyone in probably 10 years' time. But it's hard to say I WORRY about it the same as I do other things. I know it's going to occur, but it's not going to be an overnight change. It's harder to grasp mentally.
What gives you hope?
Gen Z gives me hope. They seem to have this DGAF that we millennials only dream we had. Please, Gen Z, be my friend! I have this mantra that I repeat when anxiety gets high. It goes "just keep breathing, and the sun will rise in the east tomorrow". Basically, "no matter how bad the anxiety or outlook, if you keep breathing, the sun will rise tomorrow. It's physics, it has to". The caveat to this mantra is if the sun DOESN'T come up in the east tomorrow, we all have MAJOR problems...like, probably dead problems. Nature always gives me hope. Especially at the time of this writing, spring 2025. Nature's cycles amaze me, and I try to draw parallels from them/lessons for life.
If you had a message for your younger self, what would you say?
I'd tell my younger self the world isn't ending, at least not in trumpets, beasts, or judgments. You are living through history. It's being written every second. Just because things look bad doesn't mean it's the apocalypse. Also, question the motives of anyone selling you any idea. No matter who that person is.
What's a piece of wisdom you've learned that has helped you?
A 7th grade teacher would always tell me to "breathe", especially when I'd be rambling some new Pokémon fact, or newspaper club drama (yes, I'm THAT gay). Back then, I took it as "you are annoying, slow down". The problem is I never notice how fast I'm moving or talking until I'm told. Well, back then at least. In my adulthood, I've taken Ariana Grande's "Breathin" to heart and coupled it with Mrs. Walker's sage advice from 7th grade. Just breathe: you will make it, and each moment will flow into the next. But breathe.
What is something you wish other people would know or understand?
The significance of the "Pale Blue Dot" photo. It is an image of Earth taken by the Voyager I spacecraft. It shows a dark sky, with a tiny blue speck. Humans only exist on that pale blue speck in a sea of the universe, and somehow we have the audacity to hate each other? To treat the planet like an everlasting mine? Heck, we should all be outside holding hands and dancing at the wonder of just being here on this pale blue speck! On a sillier note, I wish people knew that they can buy googly eyes online and put them on anything. Live in a Pee Wee's Playhouse, yall!