Lady Suave'
Lady Suave's Story
What's your preferred name?
In drag: Lady Suavé or Out of drag: Emily
What are your pronouns?
she/her
Share with us how you identify and how you came to that understanding of yourself.
For most of my life, I had identified as a cis, heterosexual female. But with a lot of learning about myself, inner healing in my later adult life, I now identify as a pansexual cis woman.
Tell us about how your self-expression has helped you grow.
Drag has created a freedom in my life. My self-expression has healed a lot of me that felt so much shame, fat phobia, and hate towards my body and who I was for a lot of my life. Being happy and content in my body, and performing as I am now, has been incredibly healing and has filled me with immense joy and contentment. It has shown me that I am talented, to love myself, and all the amazing performers in the community. Where I can go is limitless.
Where did you grow up? What was a formative experience you had in childhood that led you to where you are today?
I grew up in the suburbs of Hillsboro, OR. As a child, I was always the "fat girl" or the "bigger girl/person" in life. I feel like a lot of my childhood, I was told or taught to shrink myself, not only in size, but who I was as a person, and I would only achieve success if I were smaller or skinnier. I have struggled with my weight my entire life, but this was something that was instilled in me from an early age and was also a huge stressor and something that caused a ton of anxiety in me as a child (didn't later realize this until dissecting and healing during therapy sessions as an adult) I believe even though this theory or teaching caused me a lot of trauma, when finally started healing as an adult, it has only fueled me in life to finally just love ME, no matter what I look like, weight I am or how I want to identify. My ultimate goal is to enjoy life, create more, and continue having fun doing drag. I have been preaching fat and body positivity to myself and others over the past few years, and it only fuels me to push forward, speak out about fat phobia, and also to heal from a lot of things in my past/childhood.
What is a life goal that you are working on or have achieved? How has working toward this goal helped you understand yourself as an individual?
I believe I have achieved many life goals. Through performing, creating art, healing my inner child, therapy and lots of laughing (and sometimes a good cry in between) I feel that I have worked towards my goals and continue to educate myself. I understand who I am. I know I don't have to be perfect, and I don't have to be skinny or smaller to be beautiful. I need to be a good human being! The next few life goals or bucket list items for me are to possibly run, host, or be a part of a fat-positive drag show or event in the WA area. I have been a part of FatCon for the past two years. We have had this event in Seattle, but I would love to see it for a drag-specific event.
Who is someone who inspired you to be your true self? What was their influence on you?
My Grandpa David, always told me to be my true self and never to shrink myself for anyone. He has been and always will be such an inspiration and guiding light for me. Unfortunately, he passed away unexpectedly in January 2024, but he has always shown me that life is what we make it, and you can be whatever or whoever you want to be. As an out and proud gay man, he showed me to love myself and be who I wanted to be truly; and that it was okay to be different. He wasn't able to see me perform or do drag per se, but he had always encouraged my singing, acting, and being true to myself in life, both growing up and continuing in my adulthood, before he passed. I carry him with me always and know how proud of me he would be if he were still here.
What's something that you worry about?
I am at times my worst critic, and also sometimes I truly care too much about what people might (or might not) think of me. I suffer from imposter syndrome from time to time; but personally and at times in general I worry about what the future may be like for our queer and the trans/LBGTQIA+ community. I worry about many of these things, but I also know I will stand up, fight for, and speak out against the hate and/or criticism these communities might face.
What gives you hope?
Knowing people and meeting new ones who understand the importance of fat positivity, body positivity, and creating diverse communities gives me a lot of hope. I now focus on love, support, and understanding that I feel.
If you had a message for your younger self, what would you say?
Woooo weee, if I could tell little Emily to wear the cute, plus size outfits, not to be ashamed or hide away because you are fat, and that no matter what, you will always be beautiful, and to just BE you. This is what would have healed and educated me so much more and way earlier on in life!
What's a piece of wisdom you've learned that has helped you?
You are never too old or unworthy to start something over, start something new, or try out something in life that will be fun, creative, and challenge you.
What is something you wish other people would know or understand?
I wish and hope for people to understand that kindness, love, and healing are ultimately the best gifts you can ever give to anyone and yourself. I hope people will, at some point in their lives, know and understand that being creative, a little silly, and unhinged at times is the best medicine in life!